A Thousand Steps Back

Have you ever felt like you’ve gone so far, and then had to take thousands of steps backward?

It can be puzzling and sad at first. You dwell on it, wondering what you did/are doing wrong. You overthink and overanalyze everything that took you right up to this moment, wracking your brain to figure out why. Why did this have to happen?

Sometimes there is no clear answer. Sometimes you are simply forced to start over.

In my case, I fortunately was able to figure out what brought me a thousand steps back. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you probably know I started it when I moved to Wilmington, NC. You’ll know that I went through some difficult situations. I had a breakup after a long term relationship, started over all by myself, and then experienced being fired from a long term career. All of this led me back to Charlotte, NC, a city I swore I would never set foot back into. Now I find myself working as a part time barista, renting a room in my best friends house.

Now, I know, none of this sounds terrible. And it’s not. I am extremely lucky to have the support system I have. But for someone like me, an independent lone wolf type, it’s easy to focus on the negative and ignore the positive. Yes, I lost everything I worked for. Yes, I had to leave the city I felt I belonged in. Yes, I had to put my whole life in reverse and start over.

But let’s focus on that: Starting over. What I failed to realize was that I wasn’t truly happy. I wasn’t passionate about my career or my degree. I have the chance now to actually, truly start over. Ignoring everything else, I can make that career change that I wanted to make.

My point is, even when things look like they’re falling apart beyond repair, keep going. Keep moving forward, because the changes you need to make to be happy are yet to come.

I’m Going Through Changes Now

Hello everyone!

Well, as the title and video would suggest, I am still going through a series of changes. First, obviously, I finally changed the blog header!

I’m about to leave Wilmington. My best friend and I discussed it a while ago, and I decided the best thing for me is to move back to Charlotte. She is literally saving my life by letting me rent a room in her beautiful house for next to nothing, in a city where I can grow professionally and personally.

I’m scared, but excited, and also sad. It’s been kind of a crazy ride these past few years…a lot has happened. Most of it is recorded here on this blog, so thank you for sticking with me! I may go dormant for a bit but I’ll try to update as much as possible, and once I get to Charlotte, I have so many plans and I’ll actually have the ability and means to carry them out, so stay tuned my friends!

xoxo,

Stephanie

Doors and Such

Hi everyone!

Gosh, I have just been so busy. I thought being unemployed would mean some time to relax, and I have had time, but damn have I also ben running around making plans and taking odd jobs and whatnot.

So after I got over the initial anger and depression that comes with being let go from a career, salary, benefits, and whatnot, I began truly thinking and realized that yes, while the career and security were great, the world was my oyster. I could do anything I wanted. I got my degree in graphic design and I am very happy to have that degree. I will never regret the work I put into it, and I will never forget the joy of walking across that stage in my cap and gown. But, I was never passionate about graphic design. I took a hobby and turned it into a career, something I’ve heard you should never do. The one thing I have always been passionate about is writing. I have been writing since I learned the alphabet and could hold a pencil. From poetry to novels, I have written it all.

So I started looking at writing jobs. I knew it would be difficult, but graphic design does technically fall under communications, so I also knew I had a chance.

I replied to a part time job on Craigslist. I heard back from them within a few hours and, after a video interview and some writing tests, I would like to unofficially announce that I was offered the job!

Doors close, and they open. Tragedy can blossom into opportunity.

The other door that is closing is one I am a little bit sad about…at the end of May, I am going to move back to Charlotte. Even though I did get the job, it’s part time and I cannot continue to afford living here. My best friend will be renting me a room in her beautiful new house for a much more affordable price.

I’m excited, and scared, but mostly excited. I cannot wait to see what this new journey holds for me. I’m going to miss the beach and the friends I made here, but my gut is telling me to move on. Move forward. This is not the place where I am meant to grow.

So, I will be writing, and hopefully blogging more! I have some ideas for Unless, and I can’t wait to get started on this new life!

Be well, my friends ❤