A Thousand Steps Back

Have you ever felt like you’ve gone so far, and then had to take thousands of steps backward?

It can be puzzling and sad at first. You dwell on it, wondering what you did/are doing wrong. You overthink and overanalyze everything that took you right up to this moment, wracking your brain to figure out why. Why did this have to happen?

Sometimes there is no clear answer. Sometimes you are simply forced to start over.

In my case, I fortunately was able to figure out what brought me a thousand steps back. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you probably know I started it when I moved to Wilmington, NC. You’ll know that I went through some difficult situations. I had a breakup after a long term relationship, started over all by myself, and then experienced being fired from a long term career. All of this led me back to Charlotte, NC, a city I swore I would never set foot back into. Now I find myself working as a part time barista, renting a room in my best friends house.

Now, I know, none of this sounds terrible. And it’s not. I am extremely lucky to have the support system I have. But for someone like me, an independent lone wolf type, it’s easy to focus on the negative and ignore the positive. Yes, I lost everything I worked for. Yes, I had to leave the city I felt I belonged in. Yes, I had to put my whole life in reverse and start over.

But let’s focus on that: Starting over. What I failed to realize was that I wasn’t truly happy. I wasn’t passionate about my career or my degree. I have the chance now to actually, truly start over. Ignoring everything else, I can make that career change that I wanted to make.

My point is, even when things look like they’re falling apart beyond repair, keep going. Keep moving forward, because the changes you need to make to be happy are yet to come.

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I’m Going Through Changes Now

Hello everyone!

Well, as the title and video would suggest, I am still going through a series of changes. First, obviously, I finally changed the blog header!

I’m about to leave Wilmington. My best friend and I discussed it a while ago, and I decided the best thing for me is to move back to Charlotte. She is literally saving my life by letting me rent a room in her beautiful house for next to nothing, in a city where I can grow professionally and personally.

I’m scared, but excited, and also sad. It’s been kind of a crazy ride these past few years…a lot has happened. Most of it is recorded here on this blog, so thank you for sticking with me! I may go dormant for a bit but I’ll try to update as much as possible, and once I get to Charlotte, I have so many plans and I’ll actually have the ability and means to carry them out, so stay tuned my friends!

xoxo,

Stephanie

Doors and Such

Hi everyone!

Gosh, I have just been so busy. I thought being unemployed would mean some time to relax, and I have had time, but damn have I also ben running around making plans and taking odd jobs and whatnot.

So after I got over the initial anger and depression that comes with being let go from a career, salary, benefits, and whatnot, I began truly thinking and realized that yes, while the career and security were great, the world was my oyster. I could do anything I wanted. I got my degree in graphic design and I am very happy to have that degree. I will never regret the work I put into it, and I will never forget the joy of walking across that stage in my cap and gown. But, I was never passionate about graphic design. I took a hobby and turned it into a career, something I’ve heard you should never do. The one thing I have always been passionate about is writing. I have been writing since I learned the alphabet and could hold a pencil. From poetry to novels, I have written it all.

So I started looking at writing jobs. I knew it would be difficult, but graphic design does technically fall under communications, so I also knew I had a chance.

I replied to a part time job on Craigslist. I heard back from them within a few hours and, after a video interview and some writing tests, I would like to unofficially announce that I was offered the job!

Doors close, and they open. Tragedy can blossom into opportunity.

The other door that is closing is one I am a little bit sad about…at the end of May, I am going to move back to Charlotte. Even though I did get the job, it’s part time and I cannot continue to afford living here. My best friend will be renting me a room in her beautiful new house for a much more affordable price.

I’m excited, and scared, but mostly excited. I cannot wait to see what this new journey holds for me. I’m going to miss the beach and the friends I made here, but my gut is telling me to move on. Move forward. This is not the place where I am meant to grow.

So, I will be writing, and hopefully blogging more! I have some ideas for Unless, and I can’t wait to get started on this new life!

Be well, my friends ❤

New Page!

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to drop in and say that if you look at my menu bar, you’ll see a new item called “Poetry”. This link will take you to my new Instagram poetry page. I’ve been writing poetry, prose, and books my whole life and decided to start sharing it with the world. Here is an example of what you will find:

strands

I hope you enjoy it!

Frugal Meals: Veggie Soup

I realized I had a some veggies that were about to go bad on me. I don’t like wasting food, especially in the predicament I currently find myself in, so I thought hey…lets throw them all in a pot and see what happens!

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I chopped up some carrots, onion, garlic, and asparagus and opened a can of chickpeas to round it all out.

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Then I sauteed them all in a pot. Onions first, then carrots, then the asparagus, and the garlic was last because garlic burns so easily. I then added salt, pepper, dill, and rosemary. Oh, and a touch of turmeric.

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Then I put this baby in there. I let it boil then simmered for about 15 minutes.

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Then I had a soup that lasted me a few days, and it was healthy!

It’s been tough being unemployed. I’ve been a little afraid to put myself back out there, while being even more terrified of the coming months. Will I have enough money to keep this roof over my head? To keep my power on? My internet? It’s rough trying to stay positive in a time like this, but it’s times like these that positivity is one of the most essential tools to have.

In order to keep myself sane, I’ve been playing around with creative ideas. I’m going to try and integrate this blog with my Etsy shop, along with another idea I have that is in the early stages of development.

So…keep hanging out with me, perhaps you’ll see some cool stuff!

Thanks everyone, much love!

Lemons

Well. Here we are again. I stopped posting because of how busy I’d been. My job was basically my life.

But I got laid off yesterday.

So…as I try to put this puzzle back together, maybe now I’ll be able to post more regularly. I’ve got a couple things I’ve been doing lately that I’d like to post about. But not today. I just wanted to drop in, post a quick update, and allow myself to be devastated for one more night.

Be well, my friends

Life

Life has been handing me some lemons lately, and it has been very tiring trying to deal with them. This is one of the reasons I’ve been quiet.

This is normal for people my age. I realize that. At midnight on my birthday last month I began having a mid life crisis that I didn’t have much time to truly think about until recently.

When I was 20, living in my very first apartment, I discovered minimalism and began my first ever blog. While that blog is now long lost in the blogosphere, I’ve never really stopped trying to declutter my life. If you knew me personally and have been inside my current apartment, you would not guess that about me. I am very cluttered and I have a lot of sentimental things. But, it has come to my attention that I truly do need to minimize and begin a journey of mindfulness.

So the slow process begins…I want to downsize and rid myself of excessive things that I do not need. I plan on minimizing how much plastic I use, and be better about recycling. I also have begun independent study into medicinal herbalism, and will be trying my hand and creating my own salves and balms!

That’s it for now. I just wanted to make a quick update in between my busy work day hours. We’re nearing the end of our busy season, so soon I’ll have more time to blog and create!

Have a wonderful day!

Stephanie